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In this week's Sex Talk Realness, speaks with three twentysomething women about their (very different) experiences with Tinder. I realized I could spend hours swiping and some of the "DTF" or similar messages I was getting were creeping me out because that's not what I was on it for. Woman A: During that period I used it daily, if not multiple times a day. Woman A: Sometimes it was just a way to amuse myself by playing hot or not, or by trading silly messages with someone I never planned to meet up with. I found it dangerously useful for meeting men who lived in my neighborhood in NYC, which was really convenient when I was single and is annoying now that I see someone I met on Tinder every time I go to brunch. In five months I saved 10 dudes in my phone as "[First Name] Tinder." I maybe met up with eight of them? I like meeting new people and I don't see the point in using the app if you just want to text a stranger! Woman A: I had great luck and met lots of charming, smart, handsome dudes. Woman B: One of my most remarkable dates was with a man who invited me to the food court at his office building for a lunch date, and spent most of the time telling me about how he wanted to buy me beautiful lingerie and watch me try it on.
I'd just had a horrible breakup and Tinder was a very, very effective way to get back out there. Woman C: I spent three weeks on Tinder about a year ago. Woman A: I had just broken up with a long-term boyfriend and I was curious. As I didn't know many people, I thought it would be a good way to make some new friends and get to know the place I was now living in. It seemed easier than dating sites where you have to fill a detailed questionnaire, which I can never be bothered to do. Woman A: I used it from September 2014 to February 2015 — so five months — but I was a power user!Woman B: I use it for dating and hookups, and I blog about my experiences. We all know someone who knows someone who met her serious boyfriend on Tinder. I never heard back from him after I not-so-gently turned down his advance. Those conversations were pretty good and it seemed we had a lot in common, but what I hadn't accounted for was how different online discussion is from real discussion.It seems obvious to say but I only realized it once on the date.Online, you can drop a conversation if there is nothing more to say. After the date he said he'd like to meet again and I said no. Have you ever had sex with someone you met on Tinder?Woman A: As a single girl in New York, there's frankly no more efficient way to get laid than Tinder.
Within my age group there seems to be an unspoken agreement that Tinder is basically a "fuck app," as a friend recently described it.
Another friend once said "I don't think people really use Tinder like Grindr to just find someone to bang that night, do they? If the connection is there and I'm physically attracted to someone, I don't see a reason to wait to have sex with them. I'm not really into one-night stands and the one guy I met I wasn't into. Woman A: Two of my Tinder dudes turned into multi-month FWB situations with excellent sex and lovely friendship, which was surprisingly wonderful and drama-free.
" and I started laughing because I have absolutely done that. I think the fact that we met on Tinder took some of the pressure off — you can pretty safely assume they aren't looking for anything serious if they slept with you on your first Tinder date. Anyone who is very explicit about sexual preferences — although at the same time I respect that. It's so great for meeting people that you would never have known otherwise.
Woman B: I've had a threesome with a couple I met on Tinder. Is their bio witty, and not just about working hard and playing hard? A lot of people fill up their description with things they don't want instead of things they do. For instance, I saw one guy who said he was into BDSM and I think this might be valuable info for someone, just not me. I met a choreographer that just moved here from the Midwest, an Australian lawyer in New York for a month, an Ivy-League dropout who spent half of each month in Paris...
I got the feeling they were trying to spice up their sex life to inject interest back into their relationship but I could tell from the get-go that there was hidden tension between them that they were battling with. When I was on Tinder I was very much enjoying being single and would have bolted immediately from anyone who indicated interest in a relationship. Do they live somewhere that isn't super-annoying to get to? Woman A: Bankers, models, shirtless pics, mirror pics, bios about how they love travel and experiencing new things. It's a real turn-off to see someone who looks interesting and attractive but who has written "skinny girls only" or "I'm sick of all these shallow girls wearing makeup." Who would want to be with someone who has such an ugly attitude? Woman B: I think you get out of it what you put in to it, and if you're willing to spend a bit of time swiping and talking, then you can actually meet some nice and genuine people.
I guess bringing a stranger into the bedroom was their way of coping with a failing relationship. Woman B: I did have one date with a lovely, lovely man who I thought I would definitely like to see more of. Woman B: As part of my blog, I swipe right on everyone's profile. Woman C: I think it depends on what you're looking for.