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12-Jun-2016 04:09 by mace0mine 6 Comments

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Let’s be serious: you, your footie pajamas, and that entire box of Oreos are in no mood to go out and snatch some punk.Your room is a wreck, and do you really want a random stranger in your house? Hmm, other than hitting up an ex (which is almost always a terrible idea) you seem to be out of luck.Please, then that skank from down the hall will make up so many stories that you might have to pretend to care. Normally you’d just pull out your vibe and go to town, but tonight it’s just not that simple. Then you remember: you have access to the magical wonderland that is the internet!Not a moment too soon to remember either; you were just about to put on a bra.As you may or may not know, there are lots of horny people in the world. In my experience, it’s a seemingly endless supply of people desperate to do some form of genital smushing. You don’t even have to be looking for sexy times, and then suddenly you will find yourself with a lap-full, asking if you prefer blondes or brunettes.Omegle has this fancy little thing where you can add your personal interest and you’ll be connected to someone who shares your loves (or fetishes, zero judgment here).

They even have an 18+ option, so you know you’re getting someone who’s looking for exactly what you’re interested in.

One possible downside is that I’ve noticed that it is a bit of a sausage fest. Otherwise, it may take you a while to find someone.

And maybe asking for your credit card number too, but that’s for people who enjoy spending money (fine, yes, I like spending money. So the question is: Where do I go to find the other (cheap) horny people?

There must be somebody out there who would be willing to sext my glorious ass*. I bet I can find a guy online that would adore me AND he won’t give me those creepy looks like that bartender on 5 keeps giving me.

But the important question is, where are they hiding? *[fill in with your favorite attribute here] My favorite pickup site is Omegle.

It’s a free anonymous chat site that connects random strangers.

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